


Twisted To Shreds

by larascasse



Series: Without A Word [3]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Crossdressing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2014-01-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 10:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larascasse/pseuds/larascasse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s been hiding for months, but he should have known Kimi would find him. </p>
            </blockquote>





	Twisted To Shreds

The front door opens behind him, letting in a draft that blows between his legs, reminding him of how short the skirt he’s wearing is. He adjusts it, desperately trying to make it longer and it’s in vain, but it’s a habit he can’t break. He grabs the two cups of coffee and brings them to a table, to the middle-aged couple sitting there. He sees a lot of couples like them, coming here, trying to reignite the spark they lost by catching glimpses of the taboo in the mirror floor. He smiles, as he’s been taught, and asks them if they want anything else.

He then pulls out the notepad from his little apron and greets the customer that has his back to him, a lowered cap on his head.

“What would you like to order?” he asks, but the man doesn’t answer, simply looks at the floor, at the reflection on the floor. He feels his cheeks flush, even after working here for months, he’s still not used to people looking at what should be private.

“How about a coffee?” he suggests, trying to pretend this is nothing more than a regular coffee shop.

“You were hard to find, Charles.”

His mouth drops open. It couldn’t be. It can’t. Not here. But that voice, he’d recognise that voice amongst a thousand others. The man looks up, taking off his cap and running a hand through his blond hair, longer than Charles remembers. How long has it been, nine, ten months? His mouth becomes dry and he freezes on the spot, ignoring calls from other customers.

“Kimi.” There’s nothing more to say, nothing that can explain why he’s serving coffee in Japan wearing a skirt. He's more embarrassed than he ever thought was possible, ashamed that Kimi found him like this. He should be racing, somewhere, anywhere, but without sponsors, without money, he was nothing. He hadn’t been able to face his family or his friends, and getting away, as far as possible, had been the only choice. The coffee shop pays well. Some of the staff offer sexual acts to clients beyond wearing no underwear, but he’s never been forced to. The paycheck he’s getting is enough.

Charles clears his throat, “Do you, uhm, do you want something to drink?” He closes his eyes, hoping to disappear, praying that this is just another dream, that he’s asleep in his apartment, thinking of Kimi because he misses him.

“Stop,” Kimi says, placing a hand around the notepad that Charles has almost twisted to shreds. “Can we talk, alone?”

Charles looks over his shoulder towards his supervisor, who doesn’t look pleased that he’s ignoring the other clients. One of the private rooms is currently empty and he’d much rather have the inevitable discussion in private, so he agrees.

“D’accord, follow me.” He leads Kimi into the small room, closing and locking the door behind them, pausing with his back to Kimi, his forehead resting on the door. He feels so lost, unprepared to deal with his past, with everything and everyone he lost. He knew he couldn’t hide forever, but today is still too soon. He feels Kimi’s arms wrap around him from behind and he tries to shake him off, but Kimi just holds him closer.

“Why did you come here?” he asks, but Kimi doesn’t answer him. Great, he came all the way here to give him the silent treatment. Charles wriggles again and Kimi loosens his grip enough that he can turn around and face the Finn.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” he says, pulling down at his skirt. “I have work to do.” But Kimi stays silent and hugs him, pressing kisses to his hair. He tries to push away, but Kimi doesn’t let him and keeps a firm hand on his back while he runs his fingers through his hair. Charles stops struggling then, Kimi has always been stronger than him and he hasn’t kept up with fitness training, there was no point.

Kimi must sense him relax because he breathes in, nose and lips still in his hair, then steps away and cups his face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Charles lets him, it’s the most intimate he’s been with anyone since leaving Kimi without as much as a goodbye, and it feels nice. Kimi kisses his forehead, then his cheek, each time pulling away slightly as if he was looking for a sign of protest, giving him the chance to say no. But Charles allows him to continue, and God he missed this, the way Kimi knows exactly where and how to touch him. He buries his face against Kimi’s chest, and it takes all he’s got not to cry, to let months of loneliness, of unworthiness come bursting out.

Kimi strokes his back and it’s comforting not to be alone or to feel judged. Kimi is the only person who has never judged him, always accepted him for precisely who he is. He feels guilty for leaving him without an explanation, but in the end, Kimi never needed an explanation, otherwise he wouldn’t be here now.

“I’m sorry,” he says, lifting his head to meet Kimi’s eyes. “I should have called.”

Charles feels soft and familiar lips against his, and it opens all the emotions he had neatly tucked away. He tangles his fingers in Kimi’s blond locks and pulls him closer, deepening the kiss, greedy for more, for all the kisses he went without. Tears roll down his cheeks but he doesn’t care, all that matters is Kimi’s tongue touching his and running along his lips. Kimi’s hands run up and down his sides, and Charles shivers when he feels them on his exposed thighs. He lifts his skirt then, and Kimi understands, he always does, even without a word being said, and slides a hand between his thighs, cupping his balls, massaging them. It makes him feel light headed and he clings to Kimi’s shirt with both hands, squeezing the material between his teeth, biting back moans and tears alike.

Charles silently sobs while Kimi pours a bit of lube in his palm from a small bottle on the shelf and roughly grabs Charles’ cock, letting his hand slide along the length of it. It’s oddly reassuring, Kimi’s hand on him, every stroke erasing part of his guilt, his shame and his fear. Kimi stares at him while jerking him off, his face solemn but tender in a way that most people wouldn’t notice.

It doesn’t take long for Charles to come, Kimi knows everything about him, and sometimes he thinks Kimi knows him better than he knows himself. He cleans himself up with some wipes then sits on a chair, unsure of where to go from here. Kimi pulls out a folded envelope from his jacket and gives it to him, then pulls the other chair across from it and sits backwards on it, leaning on the back of the chair as he waits for Charles to read the papers.

Charles knows what the stack of paper is before reading it, a contract, though he has no clue what it could be for. He flips through the pages quickly, reading a sentence here and there to get the gist of it.

“You want to be my manager?” Charles asks, confused as to why Kimi would offer that. Kimi nods. “What do you want to manage?” he asks dryly, “No-one want to hire me.”

Kimi pulls out another envelope and gives it to him. Charles flips through it again, his eyes going wider and wider as he reads. He never thought it possible. It’s not F1, but it’s racing, and it’s more than he could have hoped for considering where he is.

“You got me a rally drive? How?”

The corner of Kimi’s mouth turns upwards, clearly pleased with his reaction, but doesn’t answer his question and simply hands him a pen. Charles signs the two contracts on the spot then lunges forward and hugs Kimi, kissing him repeatedly.

“Je t’aime, thank you so much.”

Kimi gets up and wraps an arm around his shoulder as they exit the private room. “Ready to go home?”

Charles takes off his little apron and drops it on a table. “Oui.”

Kimi gives him a kiss on the cheek as they walk out of the café. “You’re keeping the skirt, yes?”

Charles punches him in the shoulder before locking their arms together. He won’t tell Kimi, but he’s got a full assortment of them in his apartment. If that’s what Kimi likes, he’ll use every one of them to express his thanks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to whisper_roar and bulletthestars.


End file.
